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by Hikaru Suzuka
Summary: What happens when Shaman King is mixed with two psychodic girls? Many things. Especially with one who is sex-obsessed and has a head full of pot pouri! Full comedy! Read and Review! NON YAOI


Enjoy a pure comedy! Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman king. Obvious, no?  
  
Double Trouble  
  
Everything was calm and quiet one Saturday afternoon after school. Yoh and Anna sat down and did their homework, and Ren sat in the back of the room with Amidamaru, while Manta sat in the porch, stretched out across the floor, with his mind wandering off. Ren sat When a knock came to the door. Anna and Yoh looked at eachother, then Yoh got up to answer it. It knocked again.  
  
Yoh: I'm coming! I'm coming!  
  
He opened up the door and there were two girls standing outside, one had long brown hair, the other had short blonde hair.  
  
Yoh: Hel-  
  
Brown haired girl: Hi! We're moving in!  
  
Yoh: Oh, that's ni-What!?  
  
Brown haired girl: We're moving in! Can't you hear?  
  
Yoh: I can hear perfectly fine, and you can't move in! I don't even know who you are! Hey! Where are you going!?  
  
The girl with blonde hair already threw her bags down and started to walk around.  
  
Blonde haired girl: I could get used to this.  
  
Anna walked up.  
  
Anna: you most certainly will not! Leave right now.  
  
Blonde haired girl: Aww come on, we travelled for 10 minutes, and our feet hurt---Hey!  
  
The girl with the short blonde hair had tripped over Manta and laid face down on the floor, and didn't move.  
  
Brown haired girl: Damn Boy! You killed her!  
  
Manta(waking up): I didn't!!!  
  
Blonde haired girl: He didn't!  
  
Anna: Get out now.  
  
The girl with blonde hair stood up.  
  
Blonde Hair: Sorry, we live here now!  
  
Yoh: What are your names anyway?  
  
They smiled widely.  
  
Blonde hair: I'm Roan! Row-nn! Pronounce it right!  
  
Brown haired girl: And I'm.. I'm..  
  
Roan smacked the brown haired girl over the head.  
  
Brown hair: Oh yeah! I'm Siva! See-Vah! Pronounce it right!  
  
Anna: ..Siva, Roan, Get out now!---Hey!!! Damnit! Get out!  
  
Roan and Siva walked right past her, and into the room with Ren and Amidamaru.  
  
Siva: heehee  
  
Siva walked up to Amidamaru's floating spirit head and began to try to poke it. She kept trying and trying, but her finger wouldn't go through.  
  
Roan: -_-' Siva! It's a ghost!  
  
Siva: I know, why can't I poke it!?  
  
Yoh and Anna looked at Roan for an explanation about Siva. She shrugged.  
  
Ren: Ahem..  
  
Siva turned her attention to Ren, and gazed happily. She walked up to him and played with his pointy hair.  
  
Siva: heehee  
  
She continued to poke it. Roan sighed, and turned to Anna and Yoh.  
  
Roan: Sorry, she was um..dropped on her head as a child? Her head is empty except for pot pouri.  
  
Yoh nodded with thought. Anna glared.  
  
Anna: Get out.  
  
Roan: Aww come on! We can be like sisters!  
  
Anna glared, then hit Roan on her head with a bat.  
  
Roan: T.T owie..  
  
Anna: Get out!  
  
Siva: HEEHEE!!!  
  
Ren: What are you doing!?  
  
They all looked over, Siva was taking off Ren's shirt and wearing it on herself.  
  
Siva: Do I look pretty Roan?  
  
She smiled sweetly.  
  
Yoh: So..how far was this drop when she fell?  
  
Roan shrugged.  
  
Roan: I dunno.. 10 feet?  
  
Anna: I would say 20 feet.  
  
They all looked over and Siva was trying to get Ren's shorts.  
  
Anna/Yoh/Roan: 30 feet...  
  
Yoh: You seem more calm then her.  
  
Siva walked up with Rens shorts on her head while Ren ran to the bathroom for safety. They all looked at her. She smiled.  
  
Anna: are you two related?  
  
Roan: Nope.  
  
Yoh: ..so why are you living together?  
  
Siva: We're living with you!  
  
Anna: NO!!! LEAVE!!!  
  
Siva: Heehee! ^_^ no.  
  
Roan did the same as Siva.  
  
Hao walked in soon after, yawning deeply.  
  
Hao: What did I miss?  
  
Anna: You slept all day!?  
  
Hao: Course, didn't you hear those weird noises?  
  
Yoh: I thought that was Manta.  
  
Hao: That was me.  
  
Anna/Yoh: Ooooohhh..  
  
They all looked over at Siva, who was nibbling on Ren's shirt, and then at Roan, who stared happily at Hao.  
  
Hao: Um.. Hi?  
  
Roan: HELLO!  
  
Roan ran up and glomped Hao, not letting him up. Hao gasped for air.  
  
Hao: Help.. me!!!..  
  
Yoh smiled.  
  
Yoh: I like you better like that.  
  
Siva: Owh get up Roan!  
  
Siva took out a crowl bar and began prying Roan off of Hao, who could breath again. Roan was finally off of Hao, and standing up, clinging to Hao's arm. Amidamaru ran by Siva quickly.  
  
Amidamaru: Get away from me!!!  
  
He looked scared out of his mind. Siva began to chase him.  
  
Siva: Nooo! I must poke you!!!  
  
Ren ran after her, looking pissed off.  
  
Ren: Give me back my clothes damnit!  
  
Siva threw back Ren's clothes once they were out of the room. Ren ran back to the bathroom to put his clothes back on.  
  
Anna: I never want to see that again.  
  
Yoh: I can't get the image out of my head!!!! AHHH!!!  
  
Roan: heehee!  
  
Roan continued to cling to Hao, and not even notice what had just happened. Siva walked back in shortly, a little mad that she couldn't touch Amidamaru. Noticed Roan was still clinging to Amidamaru, she smiled.  
  
Siva: Roan has a habit of clinging to people shes likes, see!  
  
Hao: I noticed.  
  
Roan: I got this habit from you, clinging to everyone you see, even that poor police officer, you spent the night in jail! I had to come bail you out.  
  
Siva: I do not cling!!  
  
She looked up at the floating Amidamaru.  
  
Siva: You're so cute!!!  
  
She jumped up to cling to him, but fell straight to the ground.  
  
Roan: He's still a ghost!  
  
Yoh smiled, then turned to Anna.  
  
Yoh: Lets let them stay with us!  
  
Anna: WHAT!?  
  
Yoh: Come on, we could use some comical relief around here.  
  
Siva: Oh thank you!!!  
  
She clung to Yoh with a big smile, Anna glared.  
  
Anna: RRRRR..  
  
She glared at Siva for a little while longer, then pulled out a bat, and hit Siva over the head with it. She was uneffected by it due to the pot pouri.  
  
Roan walked by Siva, and began to drag her along, looking around, she turned to Anna.  
  
Roan: So.. Where do we sleep.  
  
Anna: In the hall.  
  
Siva started to wiggle her arms and hands in the direction of Amidamaru. Roan tightened her grip.  
  
Anna: We have no rooms for you  
  
Roan: I'll sleep in Hao's room!  
  
She smiled widely, Hao looked tramatized.  
  
Hao: Please... Noooo....  
  
Anna: Fine with me, how about you Siva? hallway, or Ren's room?  
  
Amidamaru: You have to ask her that!?  
  
Ren(in the background): Siva!!! You at the button off my pants!!!  
  
They all ignored him, Siva simply smiled.  
  
Anna: Ok, Siva sleeps in Ren's room.  
  
Siva: YAAAY!!!  
  
She raised her arms and wiggled them, and ran ito Ren's room.  
  
Yoh: Poor Ren..  
  
Hao looked at Roan.  
  
Hao: Poor Hao..  
  
Moments of complete silence passed. Everyone traded glances. Ren was still in the bathroom, trying to put his pants together. Siva was decorating Ren's room to suit her, and Roan was nuzzling up to Hao, who looked like he wanted to die.  
  
Just then, Horo Horo, ran into the room, and to the bathroom. Normally the door wasn't closed, but because Ren was in there, Horo Horo ran head first into the door, and fell on the ground.  
  
Horo Horo: Ow! Damnit! Get out of the bathroom! I'm desperate!!!  
  
Roan got up and watched as if it were a movie.  
  
Ren: I can't!!! I don't have my pants on!!!  
  
Horo Horo: Throw a towel around your self!!! I Might piss in my pants if you don't!!!  
  
Ren: Go for it, I won't be out until I get another button!!!  
  
Horo Horo crossed his legs and jumped up and down.  
  
Horo Horo: What happened to your button?  
  
Ren: Siva ate it!!!  
  
Horo Horo: Who?  
  
Siva: ME!!!  
  
She came up out of no where, and scared the living day lights out of Horo Horo, who fell back against the wall, and wet himself.  
  
Roan: That's gross, aren't you potty trained?  
  
Siva: I know! I learned when I was 12, your 14, shouldn't you know how by now?  
  
Roan: Really!  
  
Horo Horo: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE!!!  
  
Roan: I'm Roan!  
  
Siva: I'm Siva!  
  
Roan: And your wet!!!  
  
Horo Horo: Huh?  
  
He looked down andnoticed he had wet himself, from being scared, and having to go to the bathroom.  
  
Horo Horo: Aww shit!!! Now what!?  
  
Siva: Go outside, you can go in some of the bushes!  
  
Horo Horo: No way! YOU go out in the bushes!!  
  
Siva smiled.  
  
Siva: I already did!  
  
Roan: Uh...  
  
Roan walked away and nuzzled back up to Hao, who started to get used to it.  
  
Ren: Siva!! Siva are you there?  
  
Siva: Yes darling!?  
  
Ren sighed.  
  
Ren: Why did you eat my button, im stuck in here!  
  
Siva: Your not stuck!  
  
Siva pulled on the door handle hard enough, and the door swung open.  
  
Ren: HEY!!!!!!  
  
He quickley wrapped a towel around him, Horo Horo started laughing, then ran into the bathroom as Siva pulled out Ren. Yoh walked in, to see Siva holding ½-naked Ren.  
  
Yoh: Um.. I'll just walk back out..  
  
Ren: NO! WAIT!!!  
  
Ren ran up to Yoh and asked for some spare clothes. Yoh agreed and they left the room. Siva went down and sat next to Roan.  
  
Siva: So..  
  
Roan: Oh please, am I your last resort?  
  
Siva: No! Of course not!  
  
Roan: ...  
  
Siva: Just until Ren gets back!  
  
Roan sighed.  
  
The night came quickly. Hao stayed awake at his own will, and watched Roan to make sure she didn't try anything funny. Yoh and Anna slept normally, while Horo Horo was asleep in the living. Ren, on the otherhand was going through hell.  
  
Siva: Come on! Take it off!  
  
Ren: No way! Just go to sleep!---!!! And get out of my sleeping bag!!!  
  
Siva: AWWW!!!  
  
Siva was trying to get Ren's pants off, until she was forced out by Ren. She went over to the other side of him. Ren opened his eyes, to face her, right in his face.  
  
Ren: What now?  
  
Siva: How can you sleep knowing theirs a beautiful women in your room? Don't you want to---  
  
Ren: NO!!!  
  
Siva: Your jealous.  
  
Ren: Of what?  
  
Siva: The fact you can't have me.  
  
Ren: WHAT!? You're the one who can't have me!  
  
Siva: I can have you when ever I wanted!  
  
Ren: And you want me now, but you can't have me.  
  
Siva: I Never said I wanted you!  
  
Ren: Oh please, if that's the case, stop trying to get into my pants!  
  
Siva: But I must!  
  
Ren: GO TO SLEEP!!!  
  
Siva: Just one peek?  
  
Ren: NO!!!  
  
Siva: Come on, I'll take off my pants too!  
  
Ren: N--- well...  
  
He had to think about that one. Siva smiled.  
  
Siva: Shall I?  
  
Ren: heehee ye--- NO! NO! NO! NO!  
  
Siva: Awww come on, you know you'll like it!!  
  
Ren: Just go to sleep!!!  
  
Siva: I will get you one day!  
  
Ren sighed, and fell asleep. Soon after, Siva did too, while across the hall, Hao fell asleep also.  
  
The night was quiet until Siva was in a deep sleep.  
  
Siva: .ZZZZZZZZZZ..ZZzzzZZ..hhugggmmmm fuuggmzzzzz ZZZZ...ZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!! zzzzzzzzzz  
  
Roan threw a pillow at Siva from her room.  
  
Roan: Siva! Shut up! It's 2 am!!!  
  
Siva: .ZZZ ddddgmmm uuggm.zzzzzzz..ZZZ.  
  
Roan: damnit!!!  
  
Roan threw her alarm clock, and knocked Siva out so she was quiet. The night was silent again.  
  
The next morning was slow as well. Siva woke up to find Ren gone. She went into the kitchen, and saw Roan with her head down on the table, with a cup of coffee in her hand. Siva stretched and yawned.  
  
Siva: I had a GREAT sleep!!! How about you!?  
  
Roan looked up at her, to see a red mark in the middle of her forehead from the alarm clock. Roan put her hand back on the table.  
  
Roan: nnnnn...  
  
Siva: Any jam in this house? I'm hungry!  
  
Roan: mmfffgggrrr..  
  
Siva: In the 'fridge?  
  
Roan: hhhmmm....  
  
Siva: Thankees!  
  
Siva ran over to the refridgerator. She was about to open it, when Ren got in her way, not noticing her, he opened the door and slammed it into Siva's head, and she fell down. Roan stood up:  
  
Roan: I'm bored.  
  
Ren: Unlike Siva.  
  
Roan: What did she try to do to you last night?  
  
Ren: How'd you know she tried?  
  
Roan: She tries with every guy.. Once even a guy with long brown braided hair (sound fimiliar Gundam fans?)  
  
Ren: Sheesh  
  
Roan: I got no sleep, I feel like killing something.  
  
Ren: ..erm... That's..well...  
  
Roan: It's an expression where I come from.  
  
Ren: Where's that?  
  
Roan:....I don't know.  
  
Siva continued to lay on the floor.  
  
Ren: Heh, well, as long as its only an expression.  
  
Roan: I'm going for a walk.  
  
Ren: Have fun.  
  
Once Roan left, he heard a gunshot go off outside.  
  
Ren: O.O; I guess it's not only an expression.  
  
Roan(from outside): MUWAHAHAHAHA!!! Your soul is mine!  
  
He heard another gunshot.  
  
Ren: Eh...  
  
Siva woke back up, and saw Ren.  
  
Siva: Heehee!!!  
  
Ren: o_o Dear god no...  
  
Siva: YES!!!!  
  
She glomped him.  
  
The day passed slowly. Roan and Siva finally left the house to shop, dragging Anna along against her will. Horo Horo was in the bathroom. While Yoh and Ren sat at the table with a bowl of oranges in the middle.  
  
Yoh picked out an orange, and started to roll it along the table happily.  
  
Ren: Siva is hell to sleep in the same room with...  
  
Yoh continued to roll the orange happily.  
  
Ren: She snores, and tries to get into my pants!  
  
Yoh continued to roll the orange happily.  
  
Ren: SHE LOVES ME!!!!  
  
Yoh continued to roll the orange happily.  
  
Ren: Damnit Yoh!!! Are you listening?  
  
Yoh continued to roll the orange happily. Ren sighed, and left the room.  
  
A few hours passed, then Siva and Roan burst threw the door giggling and laughing out loud. Anna followed shortly carrying all the bags.  
  
Ren: Am I seeing things!? Anna working for people she hates?  
  
Anna: Shut up Ren, you're cooking dinner tonight!  
  
Ren: T.T nnooo....  
  
Siva and Roan plopped down onto the floor in the living room and looked at eachothers bags. Ren came in and leaned against the door way.  
  
Roan: I bought a necklace! How about you?  
  
Siva: Chains!  
  
She smiled, Roan looked at her strangly.  
  
Roan: I got a Jacket!  
  
Siva: A Whip!  
  
She smiled, Roan looked at her strangly.  
  
Roan: I got a..nice pair of shoes!  
  
Siva giggled, closing her bag. Roan looked at her strangly.  
  
Roan: What else did you buy?  
  
She giggled again.  
  
Roan: Let me see!  
  
Siva: Lets just say its something for Ren!  
  
Ren gasped. Roan finally got the bag from Siva and looked into it. Her eyes widened.  
  
Roan: Is that a Cond---  
  
Siva: YES!  
  
Siva smiled down at Ren, whom had fainted.  
  
Roan: I don't want to know what you plan do to..  
  
Siva: Your loss!  
  
Siva then got up and walked off singing to herself: "pot pouri.. Pot-pot pouri, Pot-pot pouri!" Roan sighed.  
  
That night, Horo Horo was in the bathroom again, letting dinner out. Ren was running from Siva, and Roan was groping Hao. Anna spent the night watching TV.  
  
Everything went dead silent...  
  
Horo Horo: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone jumped up, and looked towards the bathroom.  
  
Hao: What's wrong?!  
  
Horo Horo: There's no TOILET PAPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Roan: heehee!  
  
Hao looked down at Roan.  
  
Hao: What'd you do... -_-'  
  
Roan pointed to the toilet paper stacked up in the corner, and smiled again. Anna walked in, with her hands on her hips.  
  
Anna: What was that scream?  
  
Hao: Horo Horo is just stuck in the bathroom. Roan took out the toilet paper.  
  
Anna shrugged.  
  
Anna: Atleast your good for something.  
  
And we walked out. Roan threw the toilet paper at Anna's head. It hit. Anna shuddered, and turned around to kill Roan, but Roan had already made a run for it. Anna turned back around and stomped out of the room. Hao grinned.  
  
Ren ran by, shortly followed by Siva.  
  
Roan peeked back into the room. Hao nodded that it was safe. Roan ran up and glomped him, one he got his balance, Roan stole his cape and made a run for it.  
  
Hao: HEY!!!  
  
Roan: Hahahahahaha!!! ----  
  
She ran into a door. The Cape flew back to Hao.  
  
Ren ran by, shorlty followed by Siva, who stopped, and laughed at Roan(who is slammed against the door), and started to chase Ren again.  
  
Ren ran by again, Roan tripped him.  
  
Ren: HEY!!!!  
  
Roan: PSSTT, hide in the closet.  
  
Ren nodded as a 'thanks', and ran into the closet to hide from Siva, who ran by shortly, and was tripped by Roan.  
  
Siva: What gives? I lost Ren and I have to find him.  
  
Roan: it's all perfect for you.  
  
Roan hinted to the closet. Siva looked over her shoulder at the closet, then back at Roan, winking, she got up, and crept over to the closet. She swung open the door.  
  
Ren gasped.  
  
Siva dived into the closet, and locked the door behind her.  
  
Hao looked disturbed at the sounds coming from the closet. He looked down at Roan, who was nibbling on his cape.  
  
Hao: doesn't this...well....bug you?  
  
Roan: Oh no, I'm used to it.  
  
She continued to nibble on his cape. Hao continued to look at the closet, and listen to all the noises.  
  
Hao: How long until they come out?  
  
Roan: When ever Siva is out of energy.  
  
Hao: Shes very energetic though.  
  
Roan: Expect them out by tomorrow.  
  
Hao: o_o; eh..  
  
A few hours later of horrible sounds, Siva finally emerged fro the closet, with her hair and clothing all ruslted up. Straighting our her clothes and hair, she walked off. Ren stumbled out of the closet.  
  
Ren: What!? Now your gonna leave me after that!?  
  
Siva: What more is there to do?  
  
Ren: ...  
  
Siva smiled, then sneezed.  
  
Siva: o.o  
  
Roan: here!  
  
Roan handed Siva a Hanky, Siva blew her nose in it, and sounded like an elephant.  
  
Siva: ow..  
  
She handed the tissue back, Roan rejected it.  
  
Roan: no no, you keep it..  
  
Siva: no, it was yours originally.  
  
Roan: Yes, but you marked it.  
  
Siva: I did..didn't I?  
  
They looked at the dripping hanky, then threw it on the ground. Anna walked by and slipped on it.  
  
Roan/Siva: o.o  
  
They ran away.  
  
Anna went looking for them, until her serach lead outside. She saw Roan having a problem with the birds, as she slipped on bird crap.  
  
Roan: OWH! DAMN BIRDS!!!  
  
Roan shot a few bullets up in the air at the birds.  
  
Roan: ow.. I got some right in the damn eye..  
  
She rubbed her eyes  
  
Roan slipped again on bird shit.  
  
Anna: You get what you give.  
  
Siva jumped down from no where.  
  
Siva: So.since I gave Ren a good time in the closet... Will he give me one too?  
  
Anna: GET OUT! AND DAMNIT I MEAN IT!  
  
Roan: Aww come on!  
  
Anna: Why are you here anyway!?  
  
Siva: Duh! To live!  
  
Anna: Fool! I mean why our house!?  
  
Roan: I looked cool!  
  
Siva: And its got floating heads!  
  
She pointed to Amidamaru, who gasped and ran away. Anna sighed, then went inside to watch the News. Siva and Roan followed quietly. Once they got inside, Roan clung to Hao and dragged him with her, Siva dragged Ren without clinging.  
  
Anna turned on the news.  
  
Anchor: It seems we've had reports that the UK's Jam industry is in crisis as its factories are being raided by what eye witnesses call "A crazed psycho woman and her band of plushies". Lets tune into the screen, and see what the witness has to say!  
  
Witness: She just came!  
  
::click::  
  
Witness:  
  
Anna: Who put it on mute!?  
  
Siva: heehee, this thing is cool!  
  
Siva continued to push buttons.  
  
::click:: the channel changed to MTV  
  
Host: Alright, alright! Bitches and Bulls! We have a few bumpin' and grindin' videos comin' up ne-  
  
::Click::  
  
Anna: DAMNIT! STOP IT!!!  
  
She stole the controller from Siva, and changed it back to the news.  
  
Achor: And that's it for the Jam story, we'll have more for you, tonight, at 11.  
  
Anna: Shit! I missed it!-What are you doing now!?  
  
She saw Siva poking at Hao's earrings.  
  
Roan: Hey! He's mine!  
  
Roan pushed Siva off of Hao, and huggled Hao. Anna twitched all over.  
  
Anna: One.. Thing.. After another.. When will... you.. Leave..!!!!!!!!!  
  
Roan: When we feel like it!  
  
Anna: DAMNIT!!! YOU WILL LEAVE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Anna kicked Siva and Roan out, and threw their bags out with them.  
  
Siva: Hey!!!!!!! That's not nice!!  
  
Roan: HAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hao: ROAN!!!---wait.. YES!!! Thank you Anna!!!  
  
Anna: And stay out!!!  
  
She slammed the door.  
  
Siva: Now what?  
  
Roan pulled out a map, and crossed off Yoh Asakura's house.  
  
Roan: well, next we can go to a a house, owned by a guy named.. Malik.. Know him?  
  
Siva: Nope! Lets go!  
  
They packed up their things, and headed down the street, soon enough they got to Malik's house, and knocked on the door. A Tanned egyptian boy answered the door.  
  
Malik: Hello?  
  
Siva: Hi! We're moving in!  
  
THE END.  
  
Siva finally found the right boy for her at a stripers club.  
  
Roan found a way to make it against the law for birds to crap freely.  
  
Yoh continued to roll oranged happily.  
  
Ren never left the closet.  
  
Amidamaru went to therapy about being called a 'floating head'  
  
Horo Horo was still stuck in the bathroom, for no one cared.  
  
Anna killed anyone who acted like Siva.  
  
Malik was stuck with two psychodic girls.  
  
The UK Jam Industry never caught the lady and her plushies.  
  
PS: I do not own Malik, for he is from Yu-Gi-Oh, which I don't own either. 


End file.
